Some people have more fear than others. It doesn't make them, you, me, us, weaker. It just makes them, you, me, us human-er. BUTTTTT...
Some elements of fear need to be faced and asked straightaway, "WHAT ARE YOU MOTHER F*CKER?" and "WHY ARE YOU HERE AGAIN?" You'll know the answer when you're ready to answer honestly. The very deepest fears, the ones that involve very lifey stuff: that you're unhappy in a relationship, in a job, in a situation you find yourself in over and over again, telling yourself you can't do something, finding yourself alone, whatever it is, the recognition comes to you when you know you've had all you can take. Finding your courage to examine all of that is part of the fear. You know change or a new chapter will take work and you're already fear exhausted aka FEARZAUSTED! Different kinds of fear require different sets of life skills and we're all brought up to control and face our fears in different ways. Some fears, we fear, can't be changed so we've tamped them down with denial (everything is fine!) and all kinds of other survival modes (Ten more beers, Beer Maestro!) and after the hangover subsides, it's easy to let regret take over ("It's all my fault..." or react with anger ("oh yeah, well screw that shizz!"). It's part of the grieving process but some of this doesn't always come from us, it's another voice in there that tells us to keep being afraid, keep denying, keep drinking or working or whatever makes the AFRAID feel easier. BUT, something gets lost in all of that...it's never easy to live in that state of fear and it's never more comfortable to be unhappy or manipulated or diminish how you feel, or wake up feeling further away from your feelings than ever, no matter whose voice is doing the telling of the way you really feel.
Regret is the enemy of courage. It only means anything if you have truly done something you're not proud of and it takes courage to even admit that.
IF YOU COULD CHANGE the thing you're afraid of, not succumb to it, ride it like a wave, you could surf it out or it could drown you straightaway. If you can ride the bull, face the dragon, climb the mountain, how would you do it? What is the step you will use to get there to ride, face or scale? Knowing the One Awesome Thing you can do in this moment is to know it's ok to face that fear, recognize your feelings, start that conversation, rewrite that resume, pull out from something muddled and complicated and just not quite right, because it will be one helluva ride either way. The answer will come from you and it will be clear, it's a question for the very moment you need to work through your deepest fear and only you know the true answer to "What's the One Awesome thing I can do RIGHT NOW?" If you go for it or not, more often than not, choosing the fire we need to walk into is better than the fire we're standing in. Trust your guides, your inner star, your One Awesome Thing!
If you think for a minute it's your fault, you're wrong. It just wasn't your time to recognize how courageous you really are. Fortitude has many faces.