This morning I was talking to a friend on the phone while: pilling the cat, taping up packages that needed mailing out for my day job, Bonbon Oiseau and making a face on my toast with banana slices. Anyway, she had a big decision to make and so, we discussed making decisions, the nuances of deciding the pros and cons of a thing and what it means to actually follow your gut.
I started to think more about it and realized this is the problem: sometimes when faced with life's bigger decisions, it's easy to glaze over in fear, hearing a background voice that's not even yours telling you to play it safe, that you can't, you won't or you shouldn't do it because (insert a million reasons why here, in these parentheses, but now ask yourself if it has more to do with pleasing that voice or what you actually really want).
Giving in to those voices is awful because those voices don't just chip away at your soul, the part that's right in front of your eyes creating blind spots and discontent, but they keep you in your seemingly safe warm cocoon. AND staying in your safe warm cocoon is figuratively (my new antidote to the colloquial literally) the kiss of death, the enemy of adventure. That voice is a cocoon KILLER, and that's the part that quivery fearful voice never tells you. When the cocoon never grows, our butterfly never emerges! There are a million things that can happen to that beautiful butterfly and all the work it must do to survive and stay gorgeous but first it has to have a chance to spread it's wings and enjoy a little sunshine! To fly and be beautiful and give happiness to humans and each other and slurp delicious nectar etc..... I've never heard a butterfly say, " hey you know, dumb choice, I should have just stayed in my cocoon." Not once.
So here's a handy tool for decision making: ask yourself if you're making decisions based on someone else's voice bossing you around OR whether your heart is in it, whether it's a risk that's worth your investment of time or money or love or pain or all or some of the above, but mostly whether YOU WANT to do it. Your gut is easier to get to if you ask yourself who's voice you're listening to. You are not your parents or your ex or your brother or sister or whoever that voice belongs to that ISN'T YOU. They might not have meant to kill your cocoon but if you suspect that's what's happening, it is. NOW YOU'RE FREE! BE THE BUTTERFLY!
(DISCLAIMER: This is not real science...or is it?)